Change

Changing your life starts with changing your mind...

 

It's the end of May, and I've run 147 miles this month.  Not a nice round number, but for those who know me well...at least it's not prime.  :)

That did NOT include the expected 21-miler I had planned.  I began working with a coach, who pulled the plug on my add a mile/month plan.  He says his job is to get me to the MCM start line injury-free and that doing a 20+ mile run monthly is too great a risk.  Even though I think he's being a bit overprotective, it's still kind of sweet. 

Giving up an idea that I've been holding onto for nearly a year was harder than running 20 miles.  Yet, I recognize maybe there's a reason no one else trains that way (besides the fact that it would take too long!).  I've relinquished control of my training plan and the chance to use training for my first marathon as a grand experiment. A change in approach and a change in me--being willing to surrender and adapt.

The other big change is my marathon goal.  So many people say your goal for your first marathon should simply be to finish.  I have a secondary goal of finishing feeling fantastic (to the degree that such is possible after running 26.2 miles), figuring that if I at least feel human afterward, my first marathon need not be my only marathon and I can work on speed later.  But you have to put an estimated time on the registration form, so when I signed up back in January, I said I hoped to finish in 5 hours.  At that point, the McMillan run calculator was predicting a time closer to 5.5 based on my then personal record for 13.1, so I was hoping to take a half hour off in the next 9 months of training.  But I blew my January PR away by 22 minutes at the Cowtown Half in February and took another 9 minutes off at Heels & Hills in May.  Based on my last race, McRun predicted a 4.5 hour marathon.

The wheels started turning, and I did the math.  I'm already down 20 pounds since January and hope to lose another 20 by the end of October.  If it's true that you take 2 seconds off your pace for every pound lost, the weight loss alone would get me close to 4.  Add in 6 months of training with speed work and endurance runs, and I realized my original goal of a 5-hour marathon was no longer big enough. 

They say a good goal should excite you...and scare you a little.  So after crunching the numbers, I recalibrated my expectations and set my sights on a 4-hour marathon.  I asked my coach if he thought I was crazy.  A huge grin spread across his face as he told me yes, I am crazy, and that's a very good thing.  :)

As with giving up the mile/month plan, raising the bar on my finishing time is not just about changing the goal...it's about a change in me.  Early on, coach asked me if I would rather set a goal I know I can meet and enjoy guaranteed success or set a higher goal I might fall short of, risking failure for a greater sense of glory if I succeed.  Originally, I would have chosen the former, but that has shifted.  Initially, I wanted to play it safe.  And back when McRun said 5.5, even shooting for 5 felt a tad daring.  But when I saw my progress in less than 4 months, I realized that 4 might be possible and that my time would be a heck of a lot faster if my goal was 4 rather than 5.  So what if I come in at 4:06?  Can I be happy with that?  Yeah, I think I can.  Better to shoot for 4 and run 4:06 than shoot for 5 and run 4:41, right?  

Changing my goal has reinvigorated me and brought fresh excitement to my training.  In addition, there have been plenty of other changes recently:

- My body is changing, in part because so are my eating habits. 

- My running has changed; walk breaks used to be a staple in my long runs, and I haven't taken a single walk break on a long run since I started working with my coach a month or so ago.  Last Sunday, I ran 16 miles--nearly 3 hours straight. 

- I was forced to change shoes (same model, just a new pair) when the old ones finally gave out after 400 miles. 

- I tried a new fuel (UCAN) and decided that I will not be making that change permanent because apparently, corn starch is like poison to me. 

- The weather has changed, and my body is learning to adapt to the summer heat. 

- I've increased my mental toughness--pushing myself through one workout when I was dog tired and through another even when my HR was in the 190s!  (So much for the formula that says my max is 186!)  

 

Change is all part of the journey, which is never more apparent than when I look at how much I've changed in the past 15 years.  And I know there will be other changes to come.  I don't know exactly what they'll be, but I'm learning to embrace the experience and am excited to find out.  :)

This month's post would not be complete without sharing a pic from what will probably end up being my most memorable run of the month: a 12-miler up and down the waterfront on my trip to Seattle.  Dad & I went to check Safeco Field off the bucket list, and the run with this view was definitely a highlight. 

Next up: Wounded Warrior Half Marathon on June 9!

Heels & Hills Half Marathon - Race Recap

I signed up for Heels & Hills with the understanding that it involved neither heels nor hills.  It's a race to celebrate women's fitness.  Apparently the old course had some hills, and they kept the name.  :)

 

This was my second half marathon, and though I had turned in my best time to date at Cowtown, I was eager to improve.  I knew I had come out too fast on that one, and it had cost me down the stretch.   After a 2:13:47 finish in February, I had originally targeted a 2:10 today.  My coach suggested 2:07 and built a race plan accordingly.

 

After what happened last time, I was conscious of trying not to start too fast, though it was hard with the adrenaline and the flow of traffic.  First mile today was 9:40 (compared to 9:24 at Cowtown), and that still felt too fast.  The air was cool & crisp, so I felt like I was pushing just trying to get my breath.  In the future, I hope to make my first mile my slowest, knowing that once I really get warmed up, I can easily make up the time.  This way of thinking is quite a departure from my days in academia, when my goal was to do so well in the first part of the semester that by the end, I could fail the final and still do well in the course.  (Even though I never did fail a final!)  But running is different.  If I try to run fast early so I can coast the rest of the way, I actually end up feeling awful and even "coasting" feels hard.  So I'm trying to reframe it.  Rather than banking time I can use at the end, I want to bank energy and save that for a strong finish.  I always feel better physically (and mentally) when I run a negative split. 

 

I started the race without music, but after the first mile, I popped my earbuds in.  The course is along the beautiful Campion Trail in Las Colinas, but unlike many races on city streets, there were only a few spectators and signs and no bands along the route.  Kinda boring.  :)  So glad I stayed up a few extra minutes to download a couple new tunes and throw together a playlist last night!  One musical highlight was Cake's "Going the Distance."  Great song for racing!

Despite tightness in my hamstrings the day before, they were okay today.  (I'd used the seat warmer on the drive over!)  But at mile 2, I noticed tenderness in my right lower calf that continued throughout the race.  It was mild enough for me to push through and didn't feel like the kind of cramp that would go away with stretching, so I didn't bother to stop.  But I do think it slowed me down.

 

The other thing that slows me down is hydration/nutrition.  I have yet to master to run the art of ingesting fluids or fuel at top speed.  I had walked the aid stations @ Cowtown, so this was my first attempt at refueling on the go during a 13.1 race.  I more or less successfully navigated the challenge of drinking from paper cups, getting more water down my throat than up my nose.  :)  But the first cup they handed me was Gatorade instead of water.  That was an unpleasant surprise!  Better look before I drink!  I also found it tricky timing my gels with upcoming water stations (and the intervals were not exactly what I would have done if I had full control of my hydration), so I'm hoping to try out carrying just one water bottle on my SPI-belt for my next race. 

The goal was to run miles 1-8 at a 9:45 pace, and I did exactly that (9:44.5!).  Honestly, I was hoping to go a smidge faster.  I had set my watch to alert me if my pace crept up above 9:50 or dropped down below 9:35.  But every time I would edge down a little below 9:45, I'd lose the time because I had to slow down for GU or water or Kleenex or something.  (Note to self: glad I packed 3 tissues.  I really try to avoid blowing snot rockets on my fellow racers, and 4-5 Kleenex wouldn't be too many!) 

For miles 8-11, I was to run between 9:30 - 9:45, though with the understanding that if I wanted to, I could start to push around mile 10.  My times were 9:36, 9:31, and 9:23, so I stayed right on target, taking a little bit of the freedom I was given at mile 10.  I had hoped to open it up a little more for the last 3 miles, but I felt like I needed to keep holding back to finish strong.  I ran miles 11 & 12 both at 9:23 and had wanted to really go for it the last full mile but was worried about not having enough in the tank to keep top speed for a full mile.  As the last mile began, Dropkick Murphy's "Shipping Up to Boston" came on, which had a whole new significance after the events of 04/15.  I was bemoaning being thirsty after what I thought was the last water station at mile 11, and then happened upon an extra station set up for one of the shorter races.  I grabbed one last sip of water, and with about a half mile to go, I finally turned it up and gave it all I had the rest of the way. 

The last few yards, there were some folks letting their small children get on the race course between me and the finish line.  I was yelling for them to get their kids out of the way, so that will probably make for some interesting race photos.  :)  I crossed the finish line breathless (sexier than puking!) and was floored to see the time on my watch: 2:04:55.  I knew that I had accidentally stopped my timer for a few seconds when adjusting my watch mid-race, but I also thought I might have started it a few seconds earlier (when I crossed the first mat instead of the 2nd at the start line).  Turns out, my watch exactly matched my posted chip time! The course was a tad short (13.03), but I don't feel too badly since Cowtown was 13.2 for me.  Maybe this says I'm getting better at running point to point!  Either way, I'm really happy with a time under 2:05 when my original goal was 2:10 and my coach's was 2:07.  And that's with a calf issue most of the way and feeling good...not great.  If the way I felt on last week's training run was a 10, then I'd say the way I felt today was about a 7, and I still killed it, relatively speaking.

Can't wait to see if I can take another 5 minutes off my time over the next 5 weeks and be at sub-2 for Wounded Warrior on June 9!  Time to get to work...which starts with resting and recovering!  :) 

I began my recovery @ IHOP with my cousin Kim and her wife, who brought their 2 toddlers.  It was so great of them to come out and meet me at the finish line.  So nice to get to share the experience and exchange hugs with people who love me!  All in all, a very good day!
 

Boston

The Boston Marathon is iconic.  Even people who don't know how far a marathon is know that Boston is like the Superbowl of running.  ESPN didn't think it was a big enough deal to televise, but terrorists thought it was big enough to bomb. 

Words have been inadequate this week and still are.  But words were my window to at least understand what was happening.  I watched the whole thing unfold on Twitter...the bombing on Monday, the shootout at MIT, and the capture of the remaining suspect on Friday.  Most of my tweeps are runners, and several of them were actually running on Monday.  Thankfully, none were hurt.  Physically, that is.  We were all hurt by what happened.  And we pulled together as a community.  We prayed.  We donned our race shirts and laced up our shoes and went running.  And we said that we would not stop running because of this; if anything, many of us are more determined than ever now.  Someone said, "If you are trying to defeat the human spirit, marathoners are the wrong group to target."  So true.  After what happened this week, I am even more grateful that I will be running my first marathon with and for United States Marines. 27 weeks and counting....

20

Been looking forward to my first 20-miler since I ran 19 a month ago.  Imagined myself feeling strong and great about my accomplishment.  Let's just say it didn't live up to the expectation.  In a word, it sucked!  :)

Mile 1 - Fuel belt felt like it weighed a ton from the very beginning.  I carry three 10 oz. bottles, so it's never light, but I've run with it for so many months, it's virtually become a part of me on long runs.  Not today.

Mile 2 - That little quad/knee issue that I've been battling since September let me know it was still there.  Thankfully, it didn't bother me throughout the run.  But still scary on the front end of a long run.

Mile 3 - Legs just felt heavy.  Really?  That early?  Clearly, it wasn't the mileage.  Just not my day.

Mile 4 - Stopped for my first energy gel.  Had to take extra time to get a rock out of my shoe. 

Mile 5 - Abdominal cramps.  Not something I usually have to deal with.  Didn't stop me but definitely slowed me down. 

Mile 7 - Running uphill and against the wind sucks!

Mile 8 - I had been tune-free to this point, just trying to enjoy nature.  But nature was pretty uneventful this morning, so I popped my ear buds in, along with another energy gel.

Mile 10 - Stopped at a hospital to refill my bottles.  My luck, the bathroom downstairs was out of order.  Fortunately, I was still able to climb (and descend) the double flight of stairs!  Only later did it occur to me that I probably could have taken an elevator...but what's the point of that when you're trying to be fit?  (This represents a total change from the days when I took the elevator upstairs to walk around the track!)

Mile 12 - Slightly nauseated.  Ugh.

Mile 14 - Accepted that this was not my day.  Abandoned original strategy of approaching this as five 4-mile runs w/ GU breaks in between.  Decided to run .4 and walk .1. 

Mile 15 - Saw a beautiful Monarch butterfly...as I was listening to the song, "Wings."  A nice moment of synchronicity and a reminder that the Creator is always with me--even on runs that suck!

Mile 16.5 - Tried skipping because I'd heard it's sometimes easier due to using different muscles.  Didn't help.  My whole body was fatigued, so it didn't matter which muscles I used.  More nausea.  Double ugh.

Mile 18 - Hill that climbs almost 150 feet.  Yeah, I walked that. ;)

Mile 19.5 - Just a half mile from home, but I was completely out of water.  Figured my time was already going to be terrible, so I stopped inside a hotel to get a drink and enough water to make it home.

Mile 20 - Finished!  Not quite the feeling of triumph I'd hoped for, but I didn't quit.  I had resisted temptation to sit down in the cushy lounge chairs at the hospital and the temptation to call a cab somewhere along those last 4 miles.  (Running with a credit card is a double-edged sword!)

Perhaps the scariest thing about this run was the little question that started tickling the back of my mind: Why are you doing this???  I guess it's natural to have doubts when things don't go well, and I had been fortunate that my last bad long run like this was a 13.1 back in August, so I had forgotten the feeling.  But I know why I am doing this.  I have my heart set on the Marine Corps Marathon.  One of the reasons I love those guys is that they don't quit, even when things get tough.  So neither will I.

And rather than dread the 21-miler I have planned for next month, I'm going to look at it as a do-over for this terrible 20.  Reflecting on it, I think there are several things I can do differently to make the next one better:

- Skip the gym the night before.  This may sound like a no-brainer, but I love going to the gym on Saturday nights and have been in the habit of cross-training even the night before a long run.  It was fine when I did this before, but it caught up with me today, perhaps because I did too much and spent too long in the sauna/steam room.  Duh.  I had my reasons for doing what I did, but now I see how it cost me--not only in terms of energy expenditure but also by keeping me up past my bedtime.  Easy fix.

- More time between breakfast and starting run.  Staying up late meant that I ate and ran because I was trying to beat the heat (which I ended up not doing because I bombed and took forever to finish).  Hopefully waking up earlier and eating before other pre-run activities will solve the cramping issue, if indeed failure to do so was the cause. 

- No butter for breakfast.  First time having biscuits for breakfast before a long-run.  Wonder if that contributed to nausea.

- Drink ZipFizz.  It's loaded with B Vitamins and gives me energy.  I usually down one before a long run, but this morning I forgot.  Ooops!

- Wear compression shorts/tights.   I had done so for my last several long runs.  Today the weather was warmer, so I opted to run in shorts with compression sleeves and save the tights for recovery.  My quads and hams were less than thrilled with the decision.  (Good to know my high-dollar investment in compression gear DOES make a difference!)  Oh, and given the awesome tan lines on my knees from today, I'm tempted to say, if it's cool enough to wear calf sleeves, you might as well wear tights.  Of course, this means now I need to buy another pair....

- Shorter intervals.  When I did 18 miles, I ran 1, walked .1, and so on.  For Cowtown, my strategy was to walk the aid stations, which were 1.5 miles apart.  When I did 19, I decided to run 1.8/walk .1--more closely approximating the 2-mile spacing of aid stations at MCM (and helping me overcome my prime number aversion associated with doing 19!).  Because of fewer walk breaks, I ran 19 in less time than 18.  And I felt so fresh after that I thought today I'd try walking only every 4 miles, which obviously didn't work out so well.  Maybe today was just a bad day.  Or maybe I'm not there yet. 

So despite the run not going at all like I hoped, I did finish, and I learned lots of things that will help me moving forward.  That's why they're called training runs, and I'm really happy to have my first 20-miler under my belt 6+ months before marathon day!

0 - 19

A brief history of my life as a runner:

Childhood: Asthma.  Lots of trips to the hospital.  0 miles.

High school: Laziness. "I'm an academic, not an athlete."  0 miles.

College: Surgery on both feet.  100+ lbs. overweight.  0 miles.

Grad school: A few miles...before quickly getting injured.  Twice.

2003: Thanks to the right shoes (and socks!) and the encouragement of a Chicago marathoner, I finally began to run. 

2005: Though not part of an official race, I did my first 10K.

2007: Alternating 3 songs running, 1 song walking, I ran my first half marathon around my neighborhood. 

2008: Broke a toe.  Back to 0 miles.

2009: Surgery on the other foot.  Back to 0 miles.

2010 - 2012: Worked back up to 6-7 miles.  Car accident.  Back to 0 miles.  Again.

 

A year ago, I was finally able to resume running.  I am lucky to have a buddy who is an ultramarathoner, having completed 42- and 50-milers.  Hearing him talk about his own running and those who inspired him, 26.2 no longer seemed impossible.  For years, I had flirted with the idea of a marathon but never committed to the idea.  Yet the more stories I heard and the more miles I ran, the less running a marathon became "someday maybe" and the more it became something I have to do. 

In early May 2012, I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish 3 miles with my friend.  By Memorial Day, I was back up to 10K...though with the 95-degree heat and still being out of shape, it took me forever to finish.  I didn't worry about the time, reasoning that if I could go the distance, speed would come.  I was up to 10 miles by June, 12 by July, and did my first 13.1 training run in August. 

I did my first race, a 5K at the Ballpark in Arlington, on Labor Day weekend and my second, the Tour des Fleurs 10K a few weeks later.  I will never forget that race, not so much because of my performance but because my family was there.  I told Mom I was running a race at the Dallas Arboretum because I figured she would want to come watch and see the flowers.  To my surprise, she signed up!  Then my dad and my brother followed suit.  Everybody went their own pace, but we all finished, and it was a remarkable way to celebrate my birthday!

Sometime during that summer, I realized that if I just added a mile/month to my longest training run, I would be at 26.2 by October 2013--in time for the Marine Corps Marathon.  I did 14 in September but missed October and November due to a quad/knee issue that was treated w/ Airrosti.  I had to sacrifice speed work to get better, but by Veterans Day, I was able to run the American Heroes 10K, which took place about a mile or so from my childhood home.  Due to a poorly marked course, it turned out to be an "ultra 10K" (7.17 miles!), and I was glad I had gone in with the goal of running pain-free as a higher priority than setting a PR. 

In December, I set out to pick up where I left off and do a 15-mile run, but I literally went the extra mile and finished 16, putting me right back on track with my training schedule.  I was back.

In January, I ran 17 miles--even though it was 32 degrees (19F windchill!).  I think the mental toughness and belief in myself I developed that day were far more important than physical endurance from the run itself.

I did 18 in February, book-ended by two 13.1 training runs the week before and after.  Something remarkable happened.  The week after running 18, I shaved 20 minutes off my 13.1 time from the personal best I had turned in just 2 weeks earlier.  20 minutes off a half marathon in 2 weeks?  Who does that?  Me, that's who.  :)  I ran negative splits on all three of those long runs and felt like I still had gas in the tank at the end of them.

That set me up for the Cowtown Half Marathon, my first time running 13.1 in a race.  Trying not to be as conservative as I had in training, I came out too fast and tired over the second half--an important learning experience.  But I still set a PR--and finished ahead of my old running buddy.  :) 

Last month, I ran 19 miles for the first time in my life.  And thanks to fewer walk breaks, actually did so in less time than it had taken me to run 18.  There are 2 things I will remember about that run: 25 mph winds (which due to a laundry miscalculation, short sleeves, and a temp of 51F left quite a lasting impression!) and seeing the Fort Worth skyline in the distance when I reached my turnaround point.  Awesome. 

It has been quite a journey so far, and it's been amazing to see the transformation, of my mind as well as my body, as I keep growing as a runner.  Thanks to Team USO, I have a spot in the 2013 Marine Corps Marathon and continue my training for October. 

Tomorrow, I tackle 20...