Reality Check

I waited to write about Hottest Half, and I'm glad I did because it's taken time for it to all sink in.  A week after the fact, I am able to be happy that I ran well, turned in my best half marathon yet, learned a few things that will make me a better, smarter runner, and accomplished most of my goals.  But last Sunday, those things were being overshadowed by the disappointment of not meeting one particular goal. 

In my running log, I make a practice of labeling each run with a word or phrase that sums it up.  The first word that came to mind for that race was: Bittersweet.  I was really upset about missing the sub-2 finish.  I researched other half marathons and toyed with the idea of giving it another shot before MCM but eventually decided I couldn't do so without compromising my training schedule for the big event--not to mention that another entry fee would be about half the cost of a pair of new shoes!  Since then, I've realized I have yet to turn in the finishing times I hoped for at any distance:

5K - I signed up for the Labor Day 5K at Rangers Ballpark last year, just to get my first race under my belt.  I was doing it with a girlfriend who said she would show me the ropes (like what to do with that chip thingy that goes on your shoe) and figured we would run it easy together.  On the drive over, she said to me, "I think you should run for time."  I was just over 30 minutes, which would have been my goal if I had known far enough in advance to set one.  :) 

I did run a 25:58 on a training run a couple of months ago, but I simply haven't raced another 5K, so my official time is still over 30.  Oh, well.  One of these days (like when I'm willing to pay to run for a few minutes for a lousy cotton t-shirt), maybe I'll fix that.  ;)

10K - I had hoped to run the Tour des Fleurs in under an hour last September, but it didn't happen.  I was sure I could get there by the American Heroes 10K in November, but that didn't happen either.  In a way, it was probably a good thing that I had been battling injury in the months prior and was therefore content to run pain-free, as I would have been even more upset if I really been running for time when the poorly marked course turned out to be over a mile long! 

As with the 5K, I've since broken the hour-mark in training but have yet to turn in an official time under an hour simply because I haven't raced any more at that distance.  Planning to fix that when I return to Tour des Fleurs in 3 weeks!

Half Marathon - I've now run four of these things and didn't really expect to break 2 hours at Cowtown or Heels & Hills.  Last February, it was just a someday maybe.  By May, it seemed like a goal that was in sight, and then disaster struck in June when I tried to go for it too soon. Technically, I have now covered 13.1 miles in less than 2 hours (possibly twice if somehow that Jog Log data was right), but again my official race time does not reflect that. 

As I think about it, I've never had a race that went perfectly according to plan.  (I didn't even have a plan for Too Hot to Handle 15K, thinking at least that way I wouldn't be disappointed, and then that backfired.)  The closest thing was Heels & Hills, and even that day I had a cramp.  Every other race, something has gone wrong.  Sometimes those were my mistakes (primarily going out too fast), but often they have been circumstances beyond my control, such as weather, a long course, or at my last race, equipment failure. 

Thinking about this has given me pause as I target a sub-4 finish for Marine Corps.  I have every reason to expect that I will be able to meet that goal based on conversion formulas suggesting that I'm already close enough that another 8 weeks of training (and a 30-degree temperature drop) should push me under the line.  But what if something goes wrong?  Or what if having 30,000 people in my way keeps me from running the fastest time of which I would otherwise be capable? 

I am not for a moment giving up on my goal, just beginning to prepare myself that if something happens, I could be disappointed.  So what can I do?

- Train as hard as I can without breaking myself.  This has been the goal from the beginning, and I want to be as strong, fast, and smart as I can be in order to give myself the very best chance of overcoming any and every obstacle on race day.

- Remember where I started.  My initial goal was to finish.  And to finish feeling fantastic.  So that I would want to do it again...which would give me as many chances as I need to hit whatever time goal I might have.  When I filled out the registration form in January, I tentatively put down a goal of 5 hours because my fastest 13.1 at that point was predicting a 5:28 marathon.  That was 7 months ago.  Now that's dropped to 4:09.  We've come a long way, baby!

- Remember what's important.  This journey has not just been about finishing a marathon.  It's been about finishing the Marine Corps Marathon, raising money for the USO, and honoring those who serve our country and sacrifice in order to defend our freedom and our way of life.  I am grateful to be making my first trip to our nation's capitol, to have a spot at this year's race, and to have 2 legs to run it on.  Regardless of what happens on October 27, I hope I can keep things in perspective.